When it comes to motherhood, I have very few regrets with the exception on writing letters to my daugthers. As each birthday comes along I make a mental note to write a letter documenting the past year but the day comes and goes….nothing. This I do regret. After reading Heather Armstrong’s latest book Dear Daughter – I was instantly inspired to sit down and do the same for my girls. Letters are truly one of the greatest gifts a mother can give her child. Who else is going to remember every moment and feeling we have better than you?
Heather Armstrong first wrote to her daughter when Leta was just eight weeks old. For the next five years, Heather wrote a letter every month, capturing the ups and downs of motherhood and chronicling the milestones and surprises of their lives together. These are letters that we wish we had written for our own children: disarmingly honest, self-deprecating, heartwarming, and irreverently funny.
Dooce.com, the most popular autobiographical website online)
Kids: Leta (8) and Marlo (3)
Occupation: Heather is an American blogger who resides in Salt Lake City, Utah with her two daughters and two dogs. Heather is known for writing honestly and openly about all the events in her life. With the support from the millions of readers of Dooce, Heather is one of the original, and most sincere autobiographical bloggers on the Internet.
About Heather: Heather B. Armstrong is widely acknowledged to be the most popular “mommy blogger” in the world. She has more than 1.5 million followers on Twitter and was recently named by Forbes Magazine as one of the 30 most influential women in media, along with Diane Sawyer, Kelly Ripa and Oprah Winfrey. Time Magazine has twice listed her website as one of the 25 best blogs in the world. She has been profiled in the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times, and she’s appeared as a guest on Oprah, The Today Show and CNN. Armstrong is the author of the 2009 New York Times bestselling book, It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita.
SMITC: When you first began writing letters to Leta, did you plan to do this every month or did it just happen naturally?
It happened naturally especially in the first year because there was a ton to write about. After the six months it made sense for it to become a regular feature on my website.
SMITC: Writing letters to our children is such an amazing gift that mothers can give. What advice do you have for moms who are not professional writers or who say they don’t have the time?
It does take a lot of time and it is NOT easy. The letters were some of the hardest writing I ever did. I would write on the third of every month because that was her birthday. I also carried around a notebook at all times to write down the little things she did so I could remember. My biggest motivation for writing was so I could give to her one day. I also wanted to remember those moments. When I would go back through the notes it was exciting to read because I had totally forgotten that happened. I also had an audience from my website. Once I started publishing, it became the most popular feature at the time.
When I was pregnant with my second daughter during my book tour, the number one question I was asked – are you going to write letters to your 2nd kid on book tour. Now I just write a letter on their birthdays.
SMITC: Month 51 & 52 On Dooce.com you write to Leta about people having an issue with you violating her privacy and how she will most likely resent you for your website one day. Why was this not in the book? Best line “ And I think one day you will look at all of this and pump your fist in the air”. That was seriously the most inspiring letter you may have written to her. Why change your original post?
My editor really wanted the book to be less about the internet and more for people who don’t read my blog. We wanted the book to appeal to moms, aunts and grandmothers. There is also no mention of my post partum in this book which I was experiencing while writing the letters.
SMITC: After the original Month 51 -my favorite letter was month 12 because it describes exactly what I felt when my oldest turned 1. What was your favorite?
Not sure I have a favorite but if I have to pick there is a passage on the back of the book where I say Leta will always be a part of me thinking is she ok, is she alright (5th year).
I received an email from a 19 yr old girl who had not lived with her parents in six years and had put her parents through great turmoil doing drugs. She told me that after reading the letters to Leta she had no idea what she had done to her parents and that after reading my blog she called her parents to apologize.
SMITC: Wow – that’s when you know what you’re doing online is touching people in a positive manner.
SMITC: What do you hope readers will take away from Dear Daughter?
I came up with the idea about a month after Leta’s birth. I don’t scrapbook, I write. This is my scrapbook Instead of pictures.
SMITC: How does Leta feel about a book being published just about her?
She knows I’m an author and knows I have a website. She saw the book about 3 weeks ago on the kitchen table and asked if she could read it. She sat down and read for an hour and I would occasionally hear her laughing. That was a relief because I wasn’t sure what she would think. Leta finished the book the next day and said – “hey – so this a book from the time I was born until I’m five? Yes, I replied. Is the next one from when I’m 6 -8? I responded with, I stopped when you were five. Oh ok”. And that was it.
SMITC: Are you planning to publish the letters you’ve written to Marlo?
I stopped with Leta and there are only 3 letters to Marlo. I only write a letter on their birthdays.
SMITC: What projects are on the horizon for you?
I’ll be redesigning my and working on a few video projects – nothing that I can discuss at the moment.
SMITC:What is one thing most people don’t know about you? My writing style is conversational and I say pretty absurd things online. When people meet me in person, they expect me to be mean. But I’m much more like a delicate flower.
SMITC: Who is your favorite blogger? I read other blogs all the time. Jason Kottke http://kottke.org/ from New York links to arts and books and TV. When I first started my blog, I wrote to him for help and he linked to my site which helped with my traffic in the beginning. Recently I had dinner with him and his wife in NYC.
SMITC: What has been the biggest challenge balancing a career and motherhood? Walking away and concentrating on my kids. It’s hard to turn off because it follows me everywhere we go. I can’t really take a vacation because I constantly need to update the site for my readers.
SMITC: What’s your “secret” to being Sassy? I work out all the time and that makes me feel good. I like to say my trainer is my bishop, the Gym is my church.
SMITC: Facebook or Twitter? Twitter all the way.
Sassy Facts about You….
I never leave home without….. my iPhone
My biggest fashion influence is…. Jennifer Aniston’s style – jeans and t-shirts
My favorite place to shop is…. Adore H&M –we just got one in Utah. I always shopped in NYC and LA and stay at hotels near H&M when traveling.
My guilty pleasure is…… America’s Next Top Model
My Must-Have beauty product is…. jane iredale tinted moisturizer spf
